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Sunday, April 15, 2007

MANSTUBRATION AND BELIEFS

"Masturbation ... is not approved of the Lord nor saints।"Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate."

A quote often used by various churches in an effort to contain illicit acts amongst its people. Every sermon on masturbation would quote it, atleast all the sermons I have heard. Under the circumstances, is it difficult to imagine masturbation as one of the biggest taboos in our society?

Even today? Scientific education has done a little to change it। Does that mean men and women don't masturbate? Certainly not. 99% of men and 70% of women masturbate according to various studies. The problem lies in the acceptance of the fact that you masturbate।

Let me tell you a story... a story about you।

One night you were sitting alone in your appartment eating pizza. You decided to check out some new sites on the net while you eat. So you log on to your ISP and start surfing. Inadverantely, you come across some piece of pornography(yes, the net is quite full of it!) Looking at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingling between your legs. One thing leads to another and you end up spoiling your underpants. Now let me tell you another story.

One night you were sitting alone in a bar drinking beer. And then a most gorgeous person enters the bar. The person that causes tingling between your legs just looking at him or her. You decide that you can't let go of this oppurtunity to get to know this wonderful creation of god. So you move towards this person and start small talk. One thing leads to another and you end up in your appartment.

Whether you are a woman or a man, the next morning you wouldn't be jumping with joy in the first case. When you go out in the evening to meet your friends, you would not tell them about the hot site you found and how you jerked off to it. Nevertheless, in the second case, you would be telling anyone who cared to listen how you had the most wonderful experience of your life last night. Why? Well, maybe because self pleasure is, well, nothing special। You can do it anytime you want.


Ofcourse seducing the person of your dreams is quite an accomplishment. No wonder you need an audience. But what if you have a friend like me. A friend who is crazy enough to ask you did you wank off yesterday night? Was it good? What would you do then? Would you tell your friend about the hot site and your experience? Would you simply say, "Yeah! It was great! What about you?" Or would you pretend nothing had happened and lie... something like you were somewhere else yesterday night, or maybe lead your friend to believe you got lucky with someone?

I am guessing you would do the latter. Most certainly you won't acknowledge the act of masturbation. Rather you would evade the question and change the topic. And when your friend tells you about a hot conquest the same night, you would wish you had a bowl of water in which you could drown. Shame and guilt would come over you and you would change the topic in double quick time. Are you crazy? Noway! You are just one of the majority. And quite a majority at that! Way more majority that what George Bush had in the last elections! The reason -
social conditioning!

Unluckily, the social conditioning is wrong. It is as wrong as the social condition in 18-19th century India, where widows were forced to burn alive with their husbands. As wrong as the church was in burning Galileo for implying the Earth was not the centre of the universe. Lily
Tomlin put it best, "We have reasons to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation!" If god didn't want us to masturbate, maybe we would still be walking like dogs and horses!

The social conditioning is a result of numerous myths, lies and scams perperated by numerous individuals for personal benefit. Unfortunately, this conditioning is like a hard nut, very tough to crack. However, with effort and chanelising your energies, you can break it. Remember, the
nuts that crack the hardest, are often the ones that taste the best! You must be wondering, how the hell does it matter if you feel guilty about masturbation. Why should you spend time breaking this casing?

The first step towards eradication of this guilt is knowledge. There are thousands of myths around masturbation. Most of them perperated by religion, unfortunately. But some perperated by scam runners. Lets take a look at the most important ones.

1. Masturbation is against the will of god.

Bullshit. Nowhere in the religious teachings of any major religions is masturbation considered wrong.

2. Masturbation will cause impotency.

Most males and even some females seem to think so. Wrong again. Lets tackle the males first. It is understandable that seeing their sperm flow out of their body, they think it may end sometime. Well, it will end one day... maybe when you are 100 years old. But until then don't worry. Your sperm bank is quite unlike Standard Chartered. You have unlimited credit here! Sperm is a completely renewable resource, renewable on an hourly basis! For women, well, there is no basis in the theory. Probably perperated by old ladies who never had an orgasm in
their entire life!

3. Masturbation causes acnes, hair loss, skin diseases.

This one is my favorite. Mainly because it is one of the better scams of all times! Your social conditioning would have you believe that masturbation is bad for your health. But bad how? No one would give you a satisfying answer! Now some scam artists saw this as an good
oppurtunity to sell their products like hair growth lotions, etc. Since most people start masturbating during their teens, (the times of acne and other skin problems), they would have you believe that this is caused by masturbation! Unluckily for them, this is as untrue as the sun rising from the west! Masturbation has no physical side effects!

4. Masturbating will make you thin and skinny!

Then there would be no need for diet pills and fitness regimes my friend! And most certainly 70% of USA wouldn't be overweight!

5. Only Kids masturbate!

Why would you say that? I wonder! Well quite untrue, most adults masturbate... yup even after marriage!

6. Masturbation is for males.

And it is for 70% of the women too. Thats right, two thirds of all females masturbate!

7. Only losers masturbate!

Another of my favorites. Just goes to show just how much of a taboo is masturbation! First thing, 99% of males and 70% of females have masturbated atleast once in their lives. Now that is a hell of a lot of losers don't you think! Nothing more that I can add really... this is really
the epitome of insecurity amongst people regarding self pleasure.

8. Masturbation changes the shape of your penis

Well, it does make it rock hard. But believe me, once you orgasm, the hardness is gone! So no. Masturbation has absolutely no effect on how your penis looks.

Now lets move on in an attempt to get rid of your guilt. Clearly, all the reasons that made masturbation such a taboo are baseless. So why should you feel guilty about something that is normal and actually healthy? Healthy? Yes that too! And masturbation, like sex, is the perfect medicing. When you orgasm, your mind gets cleared of the regular day to day problems. Your body gets excited and the blood flow increases. Sometimes, you even sweat! A complete and perfect exercise for those with lack of time!

Remember, the first step is knowledge and the second step is belief.
And knowledge leads to belief। Good Wanking!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Sexuality and Intimacy

What is Sex without Intimacy OR Intimacy without Sex??

We no longer feel the social pressure to confine sex to committed relationships. In fact, we're free to explore our sexuality with just about anyone we like. Sex is now an accepted recreational activity. What we often don't realize, however, is that even casual, recreational sex still involves intimacy. We may have overcome our fear and shame about sex, but many of us still have issues regarding intimacy. If we experience more intimacy than we can handle, we will feel threatened; our safety checklist will be triggered. No matter how "safe" we make sex, sex may not be safe to us.

When we experience an orgasm, we reveal ourselves more completely and more honestly than at any other time. We let our egos die for a moment, and we have the chance to experience a true connection with another person. Then the ego comes back into the picture, and we're hit with the fear of separation, and all of our old patterns. If we don't have enough trust or enough safety, we will feel threatened, guilty, and generally unsafe. No matter how much society's beliefs about sex have evolved in our lifetime, our core conditioning tells us that there's no such thing as no-strings sex. We still equate sex with love, and love with commitment. And we equate love and commitment with vulnerability, responsibility, and the fear that our needs will not be met.

Sex is very easy to come by in today's society. What most of us crave, however, is not sex, but intimacy. The challenge is that the only model most of us have for expressing or experiencing intimacy is sex. Intimacy requires trust, and trust takes time. It's very difficult to experience true intimacy through casual sex.

The level of intimacy we experience through sex can be threatening to many of us, particularly if the sex occurs early in the relationship. Safety is essential in the early stages of a relationship--even the smallest safety violation can mark the end of a budding romance. As we get to know our partners over time, we create a foundation of trust and familiarity. We can keep minor safety violations in perspective. This is not the case when we have truly casual sex with someone.

When we become sexual with a person we've just met, even the smallest safety violation will be enough to stop our getting to know each other. One of the challenges is that it's not usually appropriate or possible to have a Relationship Definition Talk with a person we've known less than six hours. There is no real relationship to discuss. While we both may have wanted to pursue a romantic relationship before we had sex, we often find we're less interested the next morning, because we feel unsafe.

We experienced too much intimacy too quickly, and we need to create some distance, some space, and to put up some walls so that we can recover. These walls, however, block the emotional and spiritual connections we experienced that made us want to get to know each other in the first place. Since we don't really know our partner, we wonder if there was ever a genuine connection between us. We often end up with the awkward "morning after" where one of us promises to call the other, and neither of us believes the phone will actually ring.

But sex and intimacy are still connected. The more intimate we become with someone, the more important it will be that we are able to express that intimacy through sex. Our objective in our romantic relationships is to feel loved. Ultimately, love involves a balance of sex and intimacy. But for many of us, the choice seems to be either having intimacy without sex, or sex without intimacy. We've all but forgotten how to combine the two.

This Magic Moment - Sexuality Vs Relationship

Remember when you began dating your wife or girlfriend?


Those moments when the touch of her hair, the wisp of a kiss or the electricity you felt when holding hands? Do you still feel the same way or do you feel that you are missing some of those feelings?

Of course you still love your mate, probably more than ever before, but unfortunately most of the excitement has, somehow, disappeared.

You have fallen into the same day, in, day out, doldrums. Time has passed and you are into a routine, and by doing so have lost that special feeling you got just by smelling her scent or hearing her voice.

Well, stop thinking about "what was" and start putting some of the excitement and romance back into your life !

Many successful couples, who have been together for many years, know the secret of a successful relationship is always finding ways to keep it fresh, and what I am going to discuss is just one way that you can put the "oomph" back into your lives .

So, why not give your loved one a delicate item to share with you in the bedroom. Watch her as she wears this item and as she caresses you with the feel of the garment against your skin.

This, for sure, can bring excitement to your life but there is something else you can share equally, which should give you even more pleasure and a sense of heightened desire. That "something else" is satin sheets.

The smoothness of the fabric, cool against your skin, as your bodies glide across this wonderful material, creating a sensual and exciting moment.

Prepare the moment by putting these fantastic feeling sheets on your bed. Have some sexy lingerie laid out for your mate and light some scented candles to set the mood.

When you first crawl under the sheets it feels a bit cool, but they warm up quickly from the heat of your bodies, full of sexual desire.

The feeling of silky satin all around you is so enticing and very erotic.

Shimmery candles?. Satiny sheets?. Sexy lingerie....

A tender touch....

Are you becoming heady, your desires welling up?

Welcome to this magic moment!